Lies
by SassyAngel05
Summary: Meg ponders the neverending cycle of lies. Set after Tidings of Comfort and Joy mentions of MegChris


Title: Lies

Author: Sassy

Rating; PG

Show: Tidings of Comfort and Joy

Pairing: Chris/Meg angst

Disclaimer: No, I still don't own them

Summary: Meg realizes that there is no breaking the cycle when it comes to lies.

**_Lies _**

_Lies unravel every bit of trust we lay in one another. Lies lead to more untruths and soon, no one remembers what really happened. Mistrust and deceit seem to be imbedded in the new breed of human nature as the generations pass. And truth is suddenly overrated if the cause is good enough to warrant a falsehood. After all, lying is only done to protect the person from the brutal honesty of a situation or feeling, or so the liar reminds themselves day after day when their consciences prick at their brains. The person will never find out the real story, so what does it hurt? Lying becomes second nature, so much so, that a person forgets that they're even fibbing. Soon, lies hardly become distinguishable from the truth, to everyone, and the real story no longer matters. Why? Because no one remembers the truth._

Meg knew he was lying to her before he even finished the sentence. It had taken him far too long to answer her pleas of 'tell me you didn't know' for it to be the truth. She had been stunned for a moment, stunned into silence. He had watched her without flinching and told her he had tried to stop them from setting fire to that recruiting building. She had stared back at him, the boy she had trusted implicitly for some reason, as he lied to her face. And when she'd turned, his face had fallen. She had seen it. He looked as if it pained him to be lying to her, but it didn't stop him from doing it.

She was indescribably hurt at the fact that he wouldn't even consider telling her the truth. She had covered for him, and he didn't even trust her enough to let her know the truth. She had been his alibi and her uncle had believed her simply because he didn't think Meg would protect someone after all that had happened that night. Just another proof that lying becomes second nature to most, because Meg didn't even flinch when she had lied to Uncle Pete. Just as Chris hadn't flinched when he had lied to her. She was hurt now that Chris had done the same thing she had done, lied to protect someone. She didn't think she could just excuse him for doing it, just like Uncle Pete wouldn't excuse her for lying.

She had always believed that under Chris' misguided bad boy attitude was someone who would ultimately do what was right. It fit him nicely into the little box she wanted to put him away in at the end of the day. Chris had known that she believed that, too. She had pushed him to say what she wanted to hear and it was likely the reason he had kept the truth from her. He didn't want to disappoint the one person who seemed to care about him. Deep down, she understood his reasoning. She wasn't the most accepting person. In fact, she could be downright judgmental sometimes, despite all of her protests of being fair to everyone. She wasn't. And Chris obviously knew her better than she knew him.

She had wanted Chris to be the one who always understood her even when she didn't understand herself. She had wanted him to be the one that always lived true to his passion and made her feel trusting and safe when she was with him. The Chris she had seen recently broke the mold she'd patterned him into and that made her fear the passion inside of him instead of love it. He was dangerous when he felt strongly about something and she had never noticed it before. She hated that she felt the way she did, betrayed and afraid. What was the big deal? He had lied to protect her, keep her from feeling guilty about what she'd said to Uncle Pete. Chris had lied for her own good, so why did it hurt so much? Why did she want to scream when she looked out her window and saw a thin trail of smoke coming from a cigarette dangling from his mouth or was it her trust in him that was going up in smoke?

Lying to protect someone meant nothing. Chris lied to her once and it would only be a matter of time before he did it again. And again. Soon, she wouldn't ever know if he was telling the truth or not and he would keep telling himself that he was doing it to keep her safe. And they would live in their own little worlds of hidden meanings and fake feelings because they know longer knew the truth themselves.

She would never be able to ask him about what really happened that night, not when she had pretended to believe him. He would pretend to be outraged if she asked for the truth and that was a confrontation she didn't want to face. In reality, she didn't want to know Chris' part in it, though it might be nice to hear his side of the story. Maybe there was more to it than she assumed. She was positive she would come up with some incredibly creative explanations to what happened that night, and they would all be worse than what really happened. But it wouldn't matter, because she couldn't ask Chris for the truth. Maybe Chris had been part of those paper drafts that had burned into gray ashes blowing into the white winter. Maybe good would come from that fire and all of this was just a disillusioned, twisted version of the truth. It was hard to tell, after all, because no one ever really told the truth. Meg had learned her lesson. There was no real trust in anyone, not ever. Her father had lied to her mother and her mother had lied to her brother and sister about JJ. She had lied to Uncle Pete about the burning down of the recruiting office and Chris had lied to her about it. The world was really one big circle of lies. And there was no stopping the cycle. Chris had proved that tonight. Now Meg would continue to lie to herself, because really, that's all she could do. The cycle would never break.

_Optimism really isn't any different from spinning the truth to portray things in a positive light. Looking at things optimistically offers no real reward in anything, except an illusion of perfection in one's mind. Perfection is valued in society and lies and omissions lead to the perfection one craves. Protection is given through such illusions, a safe environment wrapped around a person's emotions and conscience. Obliviousness is bliss, because what one doesn't know won't hurt them. The funny thing about obliviousness is that it is never long lasting. Eventually, eyes are opened and the illusion of perfection is shattered and the protective cocoon is broken. All that is left is broken pieces and shells of what life could have been if the lies had never started._


End file.
